My last 2 weeks were really bad. And that’s an understatement. I got a job, left that job, had the worst cold in years, suffered acute depression, suffered a bout of angst related aggression and felt that everything and everyone was useless and life itself was pointless. And no, that is not a typical morning for me. I am only just starting to recover from this onslaught of untimely maladies. I had lost the will to go on and it took a lot to snap out of that phase I was in. I still feel that my life lacks proper direction and there is nothing more to aspire for. I had a few ambitions growing up and they were more fantasy than anything but it’s interesting the way a child’s mind works. They do not understand that something can be impossible and that there are some things that you just cannot do. When they ask their elders why the answer is almost always, ‘because you just can’t’. Truth is, the adults themselves do not know why something can’t be done, they were told by their elders that it couldn’t and were brought up with those limiting beliefs that they go on to teach their kids.
As a child I used to read a lot of fiction novels preferably those written by James Hadley Chase. Most times the central character in the books would be a detective or someone from a government law enforcement agency. At that age these books inspired me to want to become a detective. Then I grew up. But by and by I lacked any real ambition until I decided to become a full time stock market trader. That was vetoed by my grandmother who said complete your graduation and get a job with a bank that will give you pension once you retire. Humph. All I have managed until now is about a year of working with contact centers. No more, No more.
Life is a journey and it is not the destination that matters but the experience of that journey. I plan on completing my grad by this October end and then moving off to greener pastures. After all I hear an uncle in Dubai calling.