When I posted ‘Things to Consider BEFORE Getting a Tattoo Done’ the response was overwhelming. The clamor for ‘more’ was nearly deafening.Thanks you two.For all the love.

So without further ado, here it is..

1) Get the spelling right. Especially if it’s in a language you don’t know. Read: tattoos in mandarin.

Yes, I said Mandarin, you ignoramus.

That’s what YOU call ‘Chinese’. Mandarin, not ignoramus.

You’re stupid.

Don’t get Chinese tattoos if you’re not Chinese. Period.


2) Communicate with the artist as to what you want. Remember, a tattoo is pretty permanent.

Just in case you forgot.

3) Understand and accept that it’s going to hurt. A lot. You didn’t think that ‘looking cool’ came without a price did you?



4) Have sex. Lots of it.’But how does sex help?’ you ask.

It’s no wonder your parents birthed a monkey like you.

And there you have it folks. 4 MORE things to consider.


Why not 5 is what you’re wondering.

Coz this is all I got, Mr. Niggles.


Read ‘Things to consider before getting a tattoo done”.

Follow me on twitter here for more bad humor.

Things to Consider BEFORE Getting a Tattoo Done.


I’ve got two tattoos and helped half a dozen friends pick their designs so I speak from some sort of experience on this matter. If you’re thinking of getting one done, you may want to keep in mind these points – 

1] WHY are you getting it done? What prompted the thought of scarring yourself for life? Coz it’s cool?
Bandanas were cool once.
You see where this is heading?

Don’t make it so mysterious that people scratch their head trying to make sense of it. Sure, a tattoo is supposed to be a personal thing, in which case if you do want to be mysterious, may I suggest getting it in a place where people will be spared the sight of it?
Thank you.
Nobody likes inside jokes, especially if they’re not in on the inside joke. Ditto with mystery tattoos.
Oh, and getting your name tattooed in bar-code is asinine. Don’t go there. 

3] Try and have the tattoo pertain to who you and your belief systems. Remember a tattoo is an extension of who you are. It will define how people perceive you. So if you’re a guy and get a kitty tattooed on yourself don’t blame others for jumping to the wrong conclusions about your sexual preferences.
Or other conclusions.

4] Have a good story to accompany the tattoo. Because people will ask you what it’s supposed to mean. You don’t want to stumble through that explanation with shifty eyes and  beads of sweat on your forehead.
Also someday your kids and grand-kids will ask you why you have a sagging tattoo of a bowling ball on your arm.
Try explaining THAT to a 5 year old.

5] A tattoo is going to stay with you for the rest of your life so decide how much exposure you want it to have. By that I mean if you tattoo your forearm and get out of your house without a full sleeve shirt on, deal with the stares. You’re going to get attention, like it or not.
But if you’re a wannabe, that’s why you got the tattoo in the first place. For the attention dumbshit.
And that concludes that.
Follow me on twitter here.